Al-Fatihah

it started out during try outs for novice

that is the 1st time i met him. he was brimming with confidence. it was, for the 1st time that i recalled, an international student wants to join the debate team. although i dont really liked him at 1st glance, but then i just say, hell with it. i want to focus on this competition.

during novice championships

what i thought is arrogance, it turns out to be self confidence. he is someone that will not respect people unless we show it to him that it is worth it to do so. i respected that. we created some bond there. i can feel that he is somehow respects me and i respects him too. who has the guts to join the all local debate team with just him the one from his country. he makes an entrance at this competition. winning 5 rounds, losing once.

when the result of the finals is announced, he was the one that leaps the highest, shout the loudest and hug the firmest. he was the one that filled with joy. he smiled like he was the one that won it. i was happy to see him that way. it was like he was actually a part of us. a locals who just have been living outside of the country. i am gonna miss that smile.

wednesday, 3rd of november 2010

ijat text me. dude, you wanna go mamak? i said ok. then we go out, with nabil and him tagging along. we had such a conversation there. talking about ijat's sis wedding and how he will bullshit his family by saying that he is one of the ambassadors' son. talking about the formality of the attire. talking about tasneem, habib and khadijah. we talked about past competitions too. but there is one thing that i can remembered the most. that time, we said we were leaving. then he suddenly said no, wait for another 30 minutes! with his voice and intonation. i was surprised. in my head, what would he wanted to talk for another 30 minutes. as they always say, those who will go, somehow knows about it. we didnt left the mamak. we stayed and talked more. i can still remember his face. he really looks like he wants to stay there with us. wants to spent a bit more time with the both of us. we talked and talked like buddies from our school days. it was as if he knows that he wont be seeing both of us again.

that was the last time i saw him alive. the next time i saw him, he was already pale and cold. that was just the saturday of the week. i am shocked. this is the 1st time i lost a dear friend of mine. i always have a spot for ahmed. he was someone special. right now, there are a lot of memories of us together that keeps on playing in my mind. i wanted to save it. keep it. lock it. never to throw it away. all of my debate competitions have been with him. now, it feels like i lost a teammate. no more of those terrorists jokes. nasty talks about girls. most of all, no more of those laugh and joy that we always share together. those tears and anger thats been shed.

you are someone with such a good future ahmed. i know your ambitions and plans for the future and i was actually really looking forward to see you achieve your ambitions. i was really hoping that you will get what you want. i wanted to see you be the president of everything that you entered. in the end, god loves you more. He has better plans for you, ahmed.

so long ahmed ali. may your soul rest in peace. Al-fatihah untuk arwah.