contingency

as i am writing this, i am enjoying the highly rapid speed of the internet due to loss of people using this facility....

due to the sudden increase of the UTP's h1n1 case, then UTP has been officially closed from today 3 pm until thursday 3 pm.. :D

the end of a beginning

in the Chancellor Hall
28 July 2009
3.30 pm

tgn kiri ke depan~
ke belakang~
depan, belakang~
dan goyangkan~

as these words rings in my ears, i cant help but to burst into tears.. maybe some notice it but maybe not.. i hide my face behind the songkok while i tried so hard to wipe up the tears.. its bittersweet.. its so emotional at the time.. its so enjoyable yet so sad... with all the work and efforts put into this.. with all the memories and joy... i just wish that it lasted forever.. i fell like i have lost lots of things right after this.. what will happen is just be a happy memories not just for me but to all of the organising committees...

the tears that fall.. it meant a lot.. even when i leave high school, i dont cry... but this.. its just strike me so hard... to think that i need to depart with all of them and will not work together again.. would not be able to cheer the same thing and not be able to complain about the same problems.. its the departure that hurts me a lot.. even though none of us died but the relationship that has been created will not be the as the same again... its about the realtionship that i cried about..

how do i get better once i have had the best.. i just hope that time will stay and never moved... its the only time when i feel comfortable about me and others.. really..

i miss u guys.. i miss das.. i miss working with the das committees... i miss the exhaustion that make me sick for a day.. i miss the excitement... i miss the tommy.. i miss it all.. 25 - 28 july 2009.. will never be erased from my memory.. thank you to evryone involved in DAS 2009!

:,)

a little too late?

hello..

as i am writing this post, i have just finished watching transformers 2 revenge of the fallen...

yupp.. have just finished watching it.. believe it or not.. well, i am very2 disappointed right now.. not with the movie or anything to do with the story line, but disappointed that i am unable to watch transformers at the cinema.. instead, just being reduced to this little room with my roomate snoring already(duh, its like 4 am!)

well, its bittersweet to watch this movie.. 1st, i am very2 enthralled with this movie.. really a big big fan. ever since i know that Michael bay is directing the sequel, i have made it a must to watch the second one at a cinema.. but, what you hope for is what you never get(not always though)..

enough with the sadness.. i should be happy today! happy because i have finally watched a movie being criticized so much that most of my friends dont want to watch it but it is actually money worth it(compare with the hapless harry potter!).. its just ignites my sparks of excitement watching bumblebee and optimus fighting and wrestling with constructicons and lots.. it made my biological morphine to secretes and creates adrenaline rush! seriously(providded that one watched it with lights off and a headphone tucked inside their ears)..

also, i should be happy because i have been handpicked to be the timekeeper for the final of DAS2009! i would love to be the speaker but timekeeper is not as bad as i can get... its not something that i would like to promote but i just feel glad about it! not just that, irda would join me up there on stage next to the speaker.. really hope that she would get her health status cleared by the doctors this thursday! pasni, minum byk2 air ye!

not to forget that i am drafted into the UTP team that would be participating in the great serdang debate.. really looking forward to that! i would not want to disgrace the name of UTP.. i am drafted alongside arif amin! one of the most exciting newbie that i have met in these few years debating(arif manages to complete a seven minute speech and a minute half open speech! its not easy ok!).. i am looking forward to get the proper guidance and help from my friends and seniors in debate.. :D provided if they would like to do so.. :P

again with the DAS2009, i am now officially the usher for UKM.. kinda afraid of what might i encountered, but at the same time, excitement creeps in.. :D cant imagine what DAS2009 would be like.. hope it will be just fine! :D

also, right now, i am thinking of someone who is a dear friend of me.. long time that i have not talked to him.. hope that he still appreciates our friendship!

nevertheless, i am happy! i am excited! i dont want to think about my finance class tomorrow! pls.. can i do that? :P

to wrap things up, its really enjoying to watched transformers.. watching it has made me secretes my morphine(that ignites happiness) thus making me thinking of everything that makes me happy right now! :D

p/s : hope the happiness stays.. :D

at last

today marks the start of a new semester..

even though i have been here for about two weeks but only today that i can sense a new beginning is upon me..

before, i can only meet peoples i know at a certain places and not just around the corner (like in the bathroom or at my corridor) but now, i can do that.. it is what i have been craving for like a year.. ever since i am at foundation 1st, i have never been able to do so.. now, at last, the time has come for me..

what significance that it brings to me? it has made me feel like i have quite a number of friends actually.. when they saw me, they would nod, or raise the hand as a gesture of acknowledging i am there..

before, when i come out of my room, what greets me is the stench of several people not taking their baths for weeks or even months.. and when i went to the toilets or walk on the corridor, there would be weird looks being set upon me as if i am an alien from another world.. how would you feel, if you were isolated in your own territory..

i am glad at least i am not being treated like that anymore.. there are people whom i know and no longer the hard stench of people not taking their baths.. thank god!

although i know that i would feel like this for the rest of the semester, at least, i am thankful due to the reception that i get here..

btw, my roomate are now able to play DOTA with me.. i am glad for that too.. :')

hurmmm...

hello..

my ever waited rumate is finally here to join me in this new room..
i m obviously enjoyed his presence as i have been sleeping alone for the past few days..
while my friends are all away with something to do..
i am obviously bored..


btw, as being instructed by eddy, i am hereby would like to ask all of you who have been here into my blog (if there is any) to visit the blog where i have been putting my efforts into..

debatalamsekitar2009~

this is important! please do click this link! even if once! i appreciate it... thank you~

btw, if all of you want to know, DAS2009 is an event that is very prestigious.. its an event where i have the chance to an ushers for one of the participating universities..
i have been sweating and puffing for this event.. i really hope that it really will be a successful event where everybody will be happy about it!

please.. do click the link k!

i dream a dream

hello..
today,as i woke up.. i have one of the most heart pounding dream..
it is not a nightmare.. but its a dream so hard to interpret..

some people say a dream is just a flashback of what we have done for the day..
some people say a dream is just a resonance of the future..
some people say a dream is just the devil's work of art..
some people say a dream is just a man's creative imaginations...
some people say a dream is just a dream..

i say,my latest dream is just my heart's desire that i must kept to myself for the benefit of all..
i m not going to brag about my dream.. no! it is not a wet dream k! but its a dream so real, that my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest.. i noe some of u have experienced this kind of dream..

how would i interpret this dream.. do i have something on someone? do i need to have something on someone? is this feeling is just temporary? sighs.. i just hope so..

the point is, after the dream, it makes me realise about something.. something that i have feared the most.. the one thing that i have hope for all this while not to be bestowed upon me.. i am beginning to be afraid of myself.. afraid of what i could have become.. and afraid of my future actions and what its impact on other..

its amazing to see what a dream could have done to me.. i wish that i have not dreamed the dream.. it really stabs me to my heart..

i really dont know what i have felt after i have woke up.. happy,fear,doubt,satisfaction,denial..

its complicated.

p/s : do be reminded! it is not a wet dream!

erk

helo..

again.. i m exhausted..
i m very2 tired with all the activities being held here.
despite being needed to be back earlier, but i do fell its worth it..
right now, i am very hungry.. hunger of food.. i dont know why, but my appetite seems increasing since the day that i left home..
seriously,i only eat like one meal a day at home.. but here, i wish that i could eat 24/7..

why is this happening.. even when writing about this post makes my stomach to rumble..
even though its not even my should-be-mealtime, i need to find food..

p/s: i m looking for something to eat.. :D

little thoughts

whoa~
i m tired. exhausted.
full of surprise life is.
one sec, u r happy then the other sec, u become gloomy.
nice ek..

thats basically what i felt today.
one moment, i was laughing with friends and peoples who made my day valuable.
then one moment, i begin thinking bout something.
something that has been bothering me since i arrived.

let me tell u something, it is easy for us to fell appreciated or fell like u r one part of something that u are not.
be careful k.
its not easy to cope with when reality sneaks in.

sometimes, it is us being very expecting of something.
and when it does not, the only result is sad or depressed or questions about loyalty sneaks in.
its not i being unappreciative. please dont take me wrong.
i am just trying to express rather than keep it in.
most of us dont realise much they do. it implies to me.

well.... its not wrong to be expecting but with expectations, there will be pain.
that is what i have learn along my life..
does not necessarily mean that u never expect, but lower ur expectations.
sometimes, its ur fault that u didnt tell anyone anything about ur expectation.
human tend to forget..

lets just assume everything is going to be alrite for the nite..
no one is going to be questioned about anything..
its just an expression of emotions..
thank you if u ever read to this part or any part of my post and blog..
hope u enjoy ur day as much as u do.

p/s: still sad about something not very important... :D

lalalalalala

hello.

i just cannot watch and stay silent about the decisions being made by the authorities that really struck the very foundation of my studies. even though i m no longer taking any science and maths subjects, but i cannot deny that my experience in learning them for five years really do helps.

i just cannot understand the underlying reason behind the amendment of the result. is it fear of the opposition? is it really true that the government really want to improve the very language that one speaks everyday in their daily life???? i just cannot put my mind into it.

if the govt really want to "memperkasakan" the mother tongue of this nation, then there are more ways to implement it rather than abolishing the PPSMI. like changing the curiculum of the subject itself. many of my friends, who are undoubtedly the first batch to take maths and science in English for their SPM are convinced that the language is not a barrier. the one thing that block them from achiving success is the change of answering scheme.

like in my chemistry paper, there are wrong questions being put in the SPM question paper that need to be adjusted by the teachers after the students have answered the paper. the point is, language is never a barrier to succeed. maths are still numbers.

please oh my dear ruling govt. make this decision upon thinking about our future generation that will be more globalised than now while the information is not being produced in BM.
>

effervesence

hello.

due to the commotion about to happen on 8th of july.

several people with different ideas manipulate lots of people and able to influence them to do as they say. that is my def about politics. a person dear to me once spoken,if you on top of the hierarchy,you are more vulnerable. vulnerable until your private life is being watched by others and being used as something against you. like the idea that your bed time is being photographed and being spread in the internet? or yours words and speech are used as a mockery between colleagues.

the inevitable facts that runs through our daily life. the idea is to make a fun out of someone or somebody until one forgot that his/her is as vulnerable as the person they mock about. be it at national level or even at a smaller/larger scale in life.

people can say what they want. to please or to plead. it sucks but its life. this mean that life sucks. most of it sucks. damn.

people tend to create a mask that they wore publicly to hide their true self because they are afraid that people cant accept who they are. they talked differently, acting to be pleasing in the eye of the public while actually, when they show their true self, people are shocked to the extend that they refuse believe it.

most people who are followers are as dumb as the people who leads. because we are human and not a god. that is why human need to follow the only ONE that will never make a mistake.the only Almighty.

pray to god that the truth will be shown. and guides us in our pesty little life. i believe in what i believe. that is the guilty will always be punished. this world or hereafter.

not yet lah!

salut!
this post is just a prove that this blog is up and going again.
after weeks of punishment without the comfort of the internet, finally!
right now, back in action but lack of creative ideas to post. maybe due to the overdose of sleep!
right! dont blame it on sleeping, but its the unhealthy diet. albeit the unhealthiness in the cafeteria.
damn. just lack of ideas.
anyway, this blog is not yet bersawang! not yet!
:D