......................

i juz got a call... a very dear fren of mine called and said, hey! i m drunk rite now n i feel guilty to u..

wth? wt are u trying to prove? in any religion, drinking is not a good thing.. i hv advised u not to do so..
u r not that stupid.. u r able to think well... u r one of the most sensible person i hv ever met n u did those things juz becos u wanted to get rid of ur problems...
i m dissappointed...
i got a conversation on ym before that has advise me to talk to him becoz the person believe that my friend has changed a lot... it made me think.. was his act juz now is becoz of me abondoning him.. i agree that i have less conversation with him lately... i agree that distance has pull us apart... but why do such things... damn it.. i really dun noe what to think rite now...
i m frustrated in u.. i trusts u not to do anything stupid on ur own.. it feels like i have lost the only best fren that i have ever had... when i know him, he always so sensible.. even with a lot of probs, he dont do stupid things... but now, he is a reckless person..
i dn noe wt went wrong.. maybe he thinks that getting drunk is not a prob becoz his community (friends rite now) always drink and all... but i do believe that he is not him anymore...
drastic changes... i am disappointed with u.. really2...
in a way, i think that it is my fault not to stop him with all my will... i didnt do it becoz i believe in him.. i believe that he is sensible and thoughtful enough not to drink even though his friends are... i should have done better...
theres nothing so sucks like the one is happening rite now... i jz hope that he is lying.. it struck me so hard!
pls my fren, dn be like them as u r not like them... be whoever u r n never follow others that will ruin ur life.. u r always like that... that is ur advise to me... now, i dn noe what u r...
what ever it is, what ever u do, i condemn all the bad ones n i jz really hope that u r safe n sound... thats all i can do.. hope... i m sorry my friend to have abondon u....

wahhhh

i dn realise it.. its already one thousand views on this blog..

although, almost 50% comes from me and the comments posted on this blog does not even reach 150 comments. it is an understatement to say that the comments even reach 100. lol..

i jz feel happy knowing that a normal and uninteresting person like me got to that feat. :D

btw, the election in UTP = sucks!

haha..

lantak la diorg.. sndiri2 msuk kubur, sndiri2 jwb la ye.

btw, UTPians, including myself, please be ethical. no matter what u do, be professional k. its a reminder, not an advise. reminding myself not to do the things that would be unethical.

p/s : berserah PADAMU jua akhirnya!

the inevitable

well, obviously from my few previous posts, i am in a bad state. bad in terms of emotion.

then, the inevitable happens. i begin to feel better. the more days i spent, i begin to feel like i can pull this huge burden through. this reminds me of something that i always remember.

life is like a wheel, you will have your time where you are at the bottom at the wheel and you will roll your way to the top and falls back again to the bottom. it is inevitable.

thinking about it, perhaps i am climbing to the upper part of the wheel after spending days at the bottom of it. i hope that this will stay for a while as i kinda miss this feelings.

i need focus and need to stay on my own line of focus. that will helps me a lot. i really hope that when i read this back, i will always remember this advice to myself. focus is the most important thing.

p/s : bersedia utk halangan tggi yg seterusnye!

wishing upon a fallen star

i wish..

i wish that i would be a better person..

i wish that i would prioritize things right...

i wish to be someone who i always envy of...

i wish that i have something to be proud of...

i wish that i would not be the same as i am now...

i wish to be different from the person who i wanted to be different...

i wish that these bad feelings would just go away...

how i wish that these wishes would come true...

broken arrow

hye..

broken arrow is a military code name whereby the infantry unit has been cut out and they demand all air strikes possible in the operation to help them bail out.

tu je kot nk share.. xde smgt la.. lately ni, i am not that energetic.. no more that proactive.. why.. xde smgt da.. xde smgt nk wt ape2.. nk kate mls, xplak tdo or tgk muvi.. wt keje tu, wt jgk.. tp cm siput je... skit.. skit... last2 dpt jgk syap.. org late, ptut msuk gear 5 da skg ni.. tp rse cm mkin pancit plak la... haih... nk refuel, tp kt mne? sape yg sggup nk merefuel kn diri ini...
haih...
sbr je la kn.. nk wt cne da.. huhu..
nk ngs pn ade skg.. out of no reason.. haha... da la.. sentimental sbntr ye.. emosi xstabil sgt2.. tmbh ngn kesihatan n kewangan yg sgt2 xstabil n xsecure... haih.. everythg juz seem incorrect wif me rite now,...

p/s : T_T

dude

i really think something is wrong with me...

look at the time.. not that i am not sleeping but i am not even feel like to.. darn it..

i know that if i sleep then i will miss my train at 4.50 in the morning but at times, i will sleep no matter what.. but now, my eyes are not heavy...

i really hope theres nothing wrong..

btw, its a happy day for me.. i think i should put it for both of us..

its supposed to and should to.. but obligations makes it impossible to do anything and i guess that inevitable...

well, do pray for my safety on my trip to kl..

p/s : i m going home... tp xgtw sape2 pn kt umah.. mau terkejut beruk diorg..

insomnia

i have just slept for 4 hours...

i am tired and need of a very big rest...

but i cant sleep..

i cant rest..

i need to strive...

no to sleep as sleeping takes away your time..

p/s : korg yg nek kete aku, beware.. aku ngntok korg bwk ea...

big sigh

the previous post..

lots of comments n feedbacks from it.. be it in here or in personal... it draws the attention of peeps.. well, i do not write it for the sake of publicity..

if i do not do it..

1. i would not be able to complete the 1st draft of my project
2. i would still be cursing to the 'people'
3. i would probably take a swing at my rumate or anyone nearby...

i am not that extrovert usually.. but i cannot keep it in me anymore.. its one of those things that i am really pissed off... i cannot talk about it to someone else.. as my tone would seem like i am pissed off towards the people that are hearing although they are not responsible for it..

my councilor once said : ur feelings are like balloons.. the moment u decided not to let it be expressed, it will be blown into just like a balloon.. then, the more u kept it to ur self, the bigger the balloon will be.. in the end, the balloon will burst..

p/s : maaf ye...

fuck you!

i am really pissed off..

1st. do u fucking guys know what is the meaning of a fucking manners?
2nd. do u fucking guys think that u are so fucking good after doing that?
3rd. what is your fucking right to do such fucking thing to others?
4th. you fucking think that u r fucking good to do that?
5th. u fucking do that because you fucking think that u are qualified to go to heaven and others dont?
6th. do you fucking guys think that doing it was fucking good?
7th. u guys are fucking coward cause u fucking guys went straight away after doing the fucking thing.. u fucking guys dont have ur fucking balls to confront me face to fucking face...
8th. who the fuck tell u to do such thing?
9th. do u fucking guys know anyfuckingthing about human rights and how to fucking respect it?
10th. next fucking time u do that again towards me, then u will fucking get what u fucking deserves...
11th. do u fucking guys know what is bil hikmah?
12th. u fucking guys always look down on fucking others and think that u fucking guys are always right to do such fucking things that u dont fucking realise that what u r doing is fucking wrong..
13th. find another fucking way to do so as it is not FUCKING effective

p/s : fuck fuck fuck

shewolf

know about one song?

sang by shakira.. named shewolf..
besides than the irrecogniseable lyrics, i like the part where she howls like a wolf.. really mesmerizing to hear that.. theres a special aura surrounding the howls... its like something really cute.. the way shakira howls it..
auww.. with a pinch of seductiveness, the howls rang perfect to my ears.. hehe..

p/s : geli gk a bace balek bnde kt atas ni.. lalala...